thinking

bits and pieces of clouds, ether, maybe even ideas

Greyness. Deadness. For me they are the same thing, [although currently in design grey is a in trend colour and can look great] i connected to the term at a heart level. A fear of mine is the greyness, as i begin this part of my ministry where i chose [in the grace of God] to be part of our denomination in a formal way, i have a real fear that i become grey.
I can hold the place that if i intentionally trust follow God [etc] that won’t happen, but being honest, men and women who had similar holy intentions at our stage of this are now with the best way in the world part of a church that i think holds the system above people, and certainly the system above God. i don’t think this is intentional, nor do i think these people are bad, or evil at all. There is something perhaps about how we work denominationally  that is life sapping. When ministers,elders, members talk of session presbytery and others meetings they are not generally with a holy excitement that we are part of God’s creative work. This makes me so sad.
Is the decline of our church judgement? Perhaps,  maybe it’s also what happens when our care for people is about getting a hand up for Jesus, rather than encouraging a whole person salvation, that being saved by Jesus effects all of our lives.

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